Random Blog

Maybe I'm being too ambitious, and maybe I'm being delusional.  I'm not in the right position to say that I could be a great person, and maybe I never will. I know that the only thing I've been doing is underachieving. No one deserves me in the sense that I keep on failing everyone and I'm better left alone to rot in my little corner. I won't be as good as anyone and I'll probably die with this in mind.  I am a failure and I will then likely die a failure, as I keep on falling short of my own expectations, then what would become of me in the future? I have no face to show to the people who look up to me, if there are any of them left.  Maybe I'll just die as a nobody, then at least I won't push myself too hard to hurt myself even more.

This post will be headed by the optimistic, motivated part of myself and I will leave her be. Whatever comes out of this post may be disclaimed by the pessimist side of me in due time. I will still be liable to whatever I say here and it can be used against me in the future. "You can try," I whisper to myself as I browse through the website of the NMAT, the National Medical Admission Test, that is the sole ticket to entering Philippine medical schools in the country. Again, the bouts of sudden inspiration sprang up momentarily and I enjoy the moment by basking in the wonderful possibilities of seeing myself as a great person with a lot to offer in the world. I stop for a moment. "What if I fail the test?" Well, as far as my Google research knows, I could retake the test, but I could also continue with my plan to get that master's degree in Marine Science. Whichever comes first, I don't think there's any harm in trying. It would be nice t...