Random Blog

As I lie on my bed waiting for time to speed up and my sleeping pill to be on effect, I drown myself in PC games and internet while I still can. I am stressed but I'm not, I'm scared but I'm not, I'm angry but I'm not. I don't understand why I feel like I don't know how to feel the moment. Well, I feel the moment, but worry about the future. I think of the future at the moment. It's stupid and it's really annoying. For now, I'll be optimistic whatever happens. I believe things could be better. Happiness for now is the best illusion I could project.

We are who we aren't. There's always more than meets the eye. In fact, it could even be less than what we think it already is. We always expect to be able to read everything from just using what we see as the sole basis for making conclusions. We always want to believe in something that could be wrong. We always want to feel right by manipulating the world. It's funny, how we reluctantly smile at strangers we come across daily, how we say sorry even though the other is at fault, how we make impulsive decisions that hinder long-term goals, how we don't hesitate to deny others' requests, how we let ourselves be obedient even to the silliest of laws. It's also funny how the human mind has an optimistic side where our subconsciousness runs to when it needs to feel safe. It's where the mind drowns itself with all these happy thoughts that aren't always true. *** On the other hand, what we are inside is never fully revealed, needless to say. It'