It hurts. (copy-pasted from my tumblr)
My real mother is going to undergo head operation.
She's living in Canada for work and has been staying there for.. maybe more than 3 years I think? I can't remember.
I mentioned on a post that I'm pretty distant from my real family. My real mother (I call her 'mommy'; the adoptive one 'mama') had a child from a different father. This child is my half-sister, and we usually stay at each other's houses (which is far from each other; me being in the urban areas and she's waaayy up in the mountains [literally]) once or twice a year. This year, we haven't met yet. We used to be very close and bonded a lot. But this time it seems so different. It's like we're not family. I just hope it's just a feeling.
About my mother, what hurts other than the fact that she'll undergo operation, is that I didn't know she got into a car accident 2 months ago. I haven't asked my half-sister or my step-dad if they knew about this beforehand. If they answered that they did.. it would really hurt. Why? It's just like being a "best friend" to someone and then knowing your friend's secret (or problem) after everyone else. It happens a lot.
Anyway, about my mommy, I don't know what happened yet. I asked her through message on Facebook. She said on a status that she's going to undergo this operation that I was talking about because there were left over 'fragments' in her head. (She had a concussion, so..)
I feel such a useless child not to have heard about this earlier.
Friends and family problems.. why must you occur simultaneously all the time? Give me a break!
~
I rarely get sentimental over these things. I'm usually apathetic to the problems of others, but I just find it so freaking irritating when they won't tell you anything unless you ask them to. What if I was mute? Would you tell me your problems without me asking?
As I've said before, I may seem indifferent to the feelings of others, but deep inside, I have feelings of my own and I want to empathize with others' feelings.
and I want to be able to share them with the people I love.
Give me a hint that you're willing to do that too, please?
She's living in Canada for work and has been staying there for.. maybe more than 3 years I think? I can't remember.
I mentioned on a post that I'm pretty distant from my real family. My real mother (I call her 'mommy'; the adoptive one 'mama') had a child from a different father. This child is my half-sister, and we usually stay at each other's houses (which is far from each other; me being in the urban areas and she's waaayy up in the mountains [literally]) once or twice a year. This year, we haven't met yet. We used to be very close and bonded a lot. But this time it seems so different. It's like we're not family. I just hope it's just a feeling.
About my mother, what hurts other than the fact that she'll undergo operation, is that I didn't know she got into a car accident 2 months ago. I haven't asked my half-sister or my step-dad if they knew about this beforehand. If they answered that they did.. it would really hurt. Why? It's just like being a "best friend" to someone and then knowing your friend's secret (or problem) after everyone else. It happens a lot.
Anyway, about my mommy, I don't know what happened yet. I asked her through message on Facebook. She said on a status that she's going to undergo this operation that I was talking about because there were left over 'fragments' in her head. (She had a concussion, so..)
I feel such a useless child not to have heard about this earlier.
Friends and family problems.. why must you occur simultaneously all the time? Give me a break!
~
I rarely get sentimental over these things. I'm usually apathetic to the problems of others, but I just find it so freaking irritating when they won't tell you anything unless you ask them to. What if I was mute? Would you tell me your problems without me asking?
As I've said before, I may seem indifferent to the feelings of others, but deep inside, I have feelings of my own and I want to empathize with others' feelings.
and I want to be able to share them with the people I love.
Give me a hint that you're willing to do that too, please?
Comments
Post a Comment