As Much as It Hurts

A few days from now, I'm going to move across the country. Around 300 km north from where I live right now. No, I'm not running away or anything.. I'm just going to college. :)

I'm definitely gonna miss everyone here in Manila (or Pasig, even NCR.. whatever); family, friends, dogs, every nook and cranny of my room that makes me take leisure strolls down the so-called "memory lane". 

But even so.. I'm going to admit.. as much as it hurts..

I already want to leave.

Let's say I want to be independent enough, or maybe I just want to test how responsible I could be without anyone guiding me. That's just one out of the few reasons of what makes me want to leave. 

..Or maybe I just want to run away from everyone. 

Childish, right? I've been denying myself that that could possibly be a valid reason. But sadly, it just is. That feeling of wanting to leave everyone because I want to know who would actually bother to miss me. Selfish, right? 

I'll be honest this time.. I doubt a lot of people. I'm tired of making promises. I hate expecting. But whatever I do, even though I shook off that bad habit of mine of being too much of an idealist, there will always be this small ray of hope at the back of my mind. There will always be this thought that would want me to believe in someone who wouldn't take me for granted. 

But then again.. who am I kidding? Not everyone's a people pleaser. Well, I used to be one. That's probably why I expect people to do the same for me. 

Touché.