Blank Canvas

I want to draw a screaming soul,
paint it white and make it lack
the things it wants to have

I want to draw a crying soul,
paint it blue and make it embrace
the things it was never meant to have

I want to draw a laughing soul,
paint it black and make it have
the things that others lack

I want to draw an angry soul,
paint it red and make it mad
at the things that others have

I want to draw the souls together into a single entity
that would love itself for what is lacks,
and what it will never have.

_______
I'm not sure how that went, but that's what I feel right now.
I'm so torn between being the best, even though I know that I'm not the right position to even want that.
Why can't I just accept defeat?

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